This week's obsession ...

No explanation needed, if you need some inspiration then watch on!!!

The case of the absent blogger

Well there's not too much mystery in this case. I've just been gone for way too long!! But I was inspired by my friend Brianna who has a blog about her transportation adventures. It's hilarious and so well written! I will find the link so you can check it out:

http://imbettertoday-withoutacar.blogspot.com/?m=1

I want to write a lot more even if no one is reading. So thank you to everyone who kept following me after moths and months of no content. I love you guys!

But my goal is to post at least once a week. I don't want to promise daily posts because honestly my life isn't interesting enough. I go to work and I love the Lord. That's about it. Of course I have fun when I can with my friends and my boyfriend and my family. But I don't want the post to be about insurance woes because that's what I deal with all day (I work at GEICO).

So look for some general blogs, some hair updates, some fashion hauls, some poetry, my random thoughts and obsessions, and everything that I love. And hold me to it!!

Til next time lovelies,
B

Notes from strangers ...

It's been so long since I've posted on here! I thought I'd come through with a random post today:

So on Friday I walked from my job right next store to the library. I had to return some books and also wait for someone to pick me up because my car was acting up. I had to pass a bus stop to get to the library and there was a guy sitting there. So of course I smile and say hello, and keep it pushing.

When I get to the library I start to crochet (I'm working on some graduation presents for people, which I'll show you once I finish). Then a few minutes later someone taps me on my shoulder and says, "Excuse me, can I give you this?" and hands me a note on lined paper. Now I never looked up to see who it was but I am pretty positive it was the guy at the bus stop because I didn't see anyone else besides the librarian between the bus stop and my seat. Anyhow, here's what the note - or letter rather - said.

"Hello,
My name is Eric. I think you are so beautiful, nice looking, captivating, sensational my dear. So, are you married, involved, seeing someone? If not, so am I!! It would be cool to see the person behing such an awesome smile as yours. Anyhow regardless, it => your : )  made my day, heck my week!!
Hollah if interested in some cool conversation."

Then he left his name and e-mail address. Now some people may not agree, but I think that was a nice gesture! I mean I've never received a letter so I think it was cool. So just a reminder to smile because someone is watching you. You may not be looking for a mate but you can influence someone's day if you justu SMILE : D

Love you all <3

Is ignorance really bliss?

Last week I had the pleasure of going to a natural hair meetup! The group is called Magahony Sistahs and it was the first event I was able to attend with this group. It was a small group of women and so much fun!! Hair didn't even come up in conversation until about the third hour we were there lol we were just having a great time chatting (and in most cases, sippin lol)

The main topic was, of course, men and relationships. After all, when was the last time women got together and didn't talke about men in some form or fashion?? *wink*

The reason I"m writing this post is because of the interesting convo we had. We talked about the immediate deal-breakers, what we're physically attracted to, how important confidence is in a man, why we as women want a man that takes care of business, why we will make excuses for men, the fa ct the you can't help who you fall in love with and more! Since I was the youngest in attendance, I got to hear insight from more experienced women which was great because in terms of love, romance and relationships, I am the least experienced of anyone I've ever met - either older or younger.

The conversation really opened my eyes to my own ignorance and that saddens me to the core. It's almost like I have so much sense that I've used it as an excuse not to get involved with anyone. I've seen and heard so many situations to shy away from that I've never even been close to experiencing myself. But why go through the pain and the drama if you see the negative side effects over someone else's shoulder?

For awhile, I thought I wasn't in a relationship because no one was attracted to me, I wasn't good enough or pretty enough or interesting enough, etc. (insert any other word of negativity and I thought it) but I don't think that was the case. I think I was afraid of the vulnerability of love, the helplessness of falling for someone so hard that common sense no longer applies.

I say all this to say some more: I don't believe that ignorance is bliss in relationships on any level. I don't one (meaning myself) should be ignorant and unknowledgeable of relationships and how they work. I also don't think that when you're in a relationship, there should be a "Don't ask, don't tell" policy. Being ignorant of cheating doesn't make it okay or tolerable. You're still not in possession of that person's whole being so you end up losing in the end, whether you know about the cheating or not. Not knowing something is not the best place to be because you don't have the option to take action.

What I'm getting at is my desire to be in a healthy, loving, beneficial relationship so that I have the personal experience to go with the not-so-common sense. I want to fall head-over-heels with someone and get so deep that I can't imagine life without them. I want a piece of the stupidity of love. Hopefully I can open myself up to love and I won't be afraid to fall ...

Quote of the day: If I could touch the sky, I'd risk the fall just to know how it feels to fly
                                                                                                           - A. Keys

I want GAS Money

I came across this video when I was getting my youtube fix and thought it was hilarious and sooooo true! I am NOT a free taxi cab driver and yes, I'm cheap! You don't like it? Find another ride homie. That is all #iHeartShannon

Some memorable hair compliments

I say good things about my hair every day so I don't need affirmation from other people to tell me that it's ok to wear my hair in natural styles instead of straight styles. However, I will not deny that it feels good to be complimented! So I'm gonna share some of the ones I've received with you:

• “This hair, man, this hair!” (from a friend that is also going natural and sometimes gets frustrated with her own hair growth, constantly comparing it to others)
• “I think the way you wear your hair is flyy for real. It makes me think of the retro look and that’s pretty dope.” (from a cutie with a bootie lol)
• “You looked really nice today. Granted you look nice every day but I think today the hair was just on point.” (from a crush)
• One of the ushers at church: Every Sunday when she walks me to my seat she hugs me and says I’m a natural beauty
• Mom: “You take much better care of your hair now that it’s not permed anymore.” (well duh! from Mom)
• “I really like the shape of your afro! I looks really good” (Mom again)
• In general: people at church always touch my hair. The guys have told me that they think everyone should go natural, especially my friend that is on a loc journey and is still working on the hair actually locing together.
• My sister's (ex)boyfriend would always touch my hair everytime he sees me and just scream, which was hilarious

Share your natural hair compliments that really stuck with you!!!

The Eye of the Beholder ...

I read this quote on facebook earlier this week: "Beauty isn't pain; insecurity is. Beauty is effortless."

This quote really spoke to me and I wanted to explore the meaning of it, and of course hear what you all have to say as well.

Beauty definitely is NOT pain! You aren't only beautiful if you have the highest heel, longest lash, tighest abs, strictest diet and most tamed hair. I never really understood or embraced the idea that beauty is pain. That in order to appeal to other people there had to be some physical discomfort. That does not make sense to me.

This is the dictionary.com definition of beauty:

beau·ty

/ˈbyuti/

[byoo-tee]

–noun, plural -ties.

1. the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest).

2. a beautiful person, especially a woman.

3. a beautiful thing, as a work of art or a building.

4. Often, beauties. something that is beautiful in nature or in some natural or artificial environment.

5. an individually pleasing or beautiful quality; grace; charm: a vivid blue area that is the one real beauty of the painting.

6. Informal . a particular advantage: One of the beauties of this medicine is the freedom from aftereffects.

7. (usually used ironically) something extraordinary: My sunburn was a real beauty.

8. something excellent of its kind: My old car was a beauty.

 

 

There is no amount of pain that can infuse your spirit with beauty so why do we try so hard to achieve what is supposed to come naturally?? You possess beauty if you are beautiful in nature as the definition says. You're not beautiful because of all the artificial things you've added on top of what God already gave you.

 

 

So beauty is not, in fact, pain. Insecurity on the other hand can be very painful and can hold you back from a lot of things. I would know because I was insecure most of my life.

 

Insecurity caused me to draw into myself. I never thought people wanted to be around me for extended periods of time. Sure, I was always fun in small doses. But I was SURE that if anyone spent any real length of time with me, they would want out. This included friends as well as potential "boyfriends". I just couldn't believe that anyone would want to get to know me on the deepest levels. The saddest part is that I never gave people the opportunity.

 

I inflicted so much pain on myself by sheltering myself from people who, in my mind, wouldn't want to be my best friend/boyfriend/roommate/mentor, etc. etc. I spent a little time with someone and then pulled away because I went over senarios in my mind about how they wouldn't want to go out to lunch with me again or spend the night at my house again or share heartfelt conversations with me again. So yes, insecurity is pain.

 

And just to be fair, this is what insecurity means:

in·se·cu·ri·ty

/ˌɪnsɪˈkyʊərɪti/  [in-si-kyoor-i-tee]

–noun, plural -ties.

1. lack of confidence or assurance; self-doubt: He is plagued by insecurity.

2. the quality or state of being insecure; instability: the insecurity of her financial position.

3. something insecure: the many insecurities of life.

 

 

 

So if pain can't cause you to be beautiful, what is beauty? Well, beauty is effortless. It's not the girl in school that has to work every day of her life to stay on top and feel accepted. It's not the woman who spends all her money on plastic surgery to have someone else's features. Now don't get me wrong, these people may look good on the outside.

 

However,the effortlessness of beauty comes from within. That sparkle that lights up yoru smile makes you beautiful. That mistake that you learned from and grew from makes you beautiful. The confidence that allows you to hold your head up high when your face has been disfigured is beautiful. So many qualities about humans make them beautiful. It's not the clothes or makeup or procedures that MAKE us beautiful. We're beautiful because of who we are so remember that : )

Hair Update - part 1

My goal last month was to begin doing at least 3 blog posts every week. Well, I failed but it's okay because I'm going to keep striving for that goal! I miss writing and here I have my own website that I'm not even taking advantage of. So just to warn you in advance, some things may not make sense and they might not be the most extravagent stories but they'll come from my heart and I hope you'll enjoy this new level that I want my blog to go to : )

To being my regular postings, I will do a hair update. I have missed quite a few months of updates so what I'll do is share pictures and styles from March 2011 and continue from there. Alrighty, here we go!

So I started off the month with a twistout that needed to be washed, so I washed and put in twists like so

Then I decided I would try to flat iron my hair again. I didn't blow dry it first, just flat ironed straight from the twisted state which worked pretty well

And the fully flat ironed results (which were pretty poofy)

Then I tried a style by ForeverCurlyCatrina on youtube and I loved it!!

After the short lived flat iron, I twisted my hair back up

When they started looking fuzzy and a twistout was inevitable, I flat twisted the twists up and away

I loved the resulting twistout!!!!

I bought some Rhassoul Clay from AnitaGrant.com and I received it while I had the twistout. At the end of the twistout's life, I decided to try the treatment. Here's how it looked in my hair:

And when it was rinsed out

Now normally I ALWAYS have either twists or twistouts because they are easy and reliable. But afterwards I decided to try a braidout. I used a lot of product: kimmaytube leave in, coconut oil, shea butter, and foam wrap lotion. It came out awesome!!

After 3 days I ended up re-braiding it (I don't remember what I used but I used a lot of product the second time as well!)

 

When the braidout was not so hot anymore, I co-washed my hair and then shingled with eco styler gel

And right now I have in small/mini twists that were done on blow dried hair (I will do a more involved post about mini twists soon)

Phew!!!! That was really long but hopefully you enjoyed the pictures! If you have any questions, please ask and I will be happy to answer them : ) 

I love you for reading! Be blessed

It's natural, it's straight, your hair. OH MY!!

On Sunday night I got an urge to flat iron my hair. Of course, it started raining that night after I finished half of it : /  So I finished the next day and I wanted to show you guys what it looks like. It's not very flat, it's not that straight, it took way too long. If anything, that just re-re-re confirmed how much I love my hair kinky, curly, nappy!!!!

I didn't blow dry my hair. I had just co-washed some twists the day before so they were pretty clean. I untwisted a twist, applied heat protectant, and flat ironed that piece. It felt like it took all day long. Here are some pics

The interesting thing is how people responded to it. I thought everyone would just be fawning over my hair because I haven't had anything but twists and fros for about 2 years. What I found out was that people responded in one of these ways:

1.  They barely noticed anything! My hair is different every 3 days a lot of the time. I have the time and the desire to style my hair a lot so I definitely manipulate, probably too much. So when they saw my hair pinned back and flat ironed, they didn't say anything because it was just another style lol

2.   They missed my curls/kinks! Some people were like "What happened? I like the curls better." *smiles* I love my kinky hair too so I loved when people responded like that because I agree.

3.   The people that want long hair themselves were just obsessed with how long it was. "I want to see your hair?" "How long is it?" "Can you take it down?" "I wish my hair was that long!"  This was people that are transitioning or just want long hair in general. They were the only ones that were really impressed I guess (because I, for one, WAS NOT! It's just hair people)

So all in all, I am sooooo ready to wash my hair! Straight-ish hair is not really for me. I never knew how to style it and it just doesn't excite me so I'm contemplating going swimming so that I have an excuse to go back kinky : D  (it's about 80 degrees here so it's more tempting, the more I think about it)

Thanks for reading! Leave comments, questions, concerns, things that make you go hmmmm : )

Should I believe the hype???

Yep, you guessed it! I'm talking about the ... dun dun dun DUN!!! Tangle Teezer!!

I have seen countless reviews and youtube videos on the Tangle Teezer. It seems that everyone who has natural hair is completely in love with this detangling tool. And it is a very reasonable price: just $10 from Sally's! So I'm definitely going to buy one because a lot of the time when I'm detangling I don't like the sound. It sounds like my hair is being ripped out and I want to be gentler with my hair so I think this is the way to go.

Just wanted you guys to know that I'm jumping on the bangwagon. Giddyup!!  : )

Make a wish!!!

Today is 1/11/11!!!! I thought it would be the perfect day to come back from being MIA on my blog and start posting regularly! Lol

I have missed out on sharing a lot of things with you guys (namely my 1 year nappiversary on December 16 and my New Year's resolutions) but believe me, I will update you guys and get some pictures posted and some articles and information and get back in the blogging game : )

My posts will hopefully be every day or every other day. They may be short. They may be boring. They may be useless to you. But they'll be me! So this will start off the first post of 2011 - the first of many. Much love!

My weekend in review ...

First of all sorry for being M.I.A. for so long!!! I wanted to share with you guys a few exciting things going on this weekend:

I went to FIDM (FAshion Institute of Design and Merchandising) at the San Diego campus with my sister and my mom because baby sis wants to go there for interior design and they had an open house. It's right downtown and has the greatest vibe to it. You would feel like you were going to work rather than school because it's in an office building with tons of windows right outside Petco park! You could watch the baseball game or a concert right from the study area. How cool is that?!

The exciting part is that they had a great guest speaker: Nick Verreos! If you don't know him by name you would know his face. He was on Project Runway season 2. He told us his fashion industry story and took pics with us afterwards. He was hilarious and full of soooooo much energy!!! Plus he showed us his spring collection of absolutely stunning and gorgeous dresses. He is fabulous dahling
(I took a picture with him so I'll add that later!)

The second very exciting news is that I'm going to see The Color Purple tonight!!!!!!

The Broadway cast is here in San Diego for the weekend and I got half off tickets that were $43!! Hooray! I'm wearing a twistout for it and I am super juiced about seeing it!

Hope your weekends are fabulous!

My most recent hair updates!!

I wanted to share with you guys some pictures of my hair from October. I realize that I haven't showed you my hair in September but why dwell in the past? ; )

So I made a slideshow of my hair from earlier this month and I hope you enjoy it!

http://www.slide.com/r/jVmiLkCo6z9IIHKkImi_QLTVHoPnhOFu?previous_view=lt_embedded_url

It's hard out there for a pimp ...

This is just in reference to job searching. I seem to attract all the companies that people believe are scams! I don't know why and I don't know how but I do know that every time I'm about to go to an interview, I find something online that says I'll have to pay them $700+ dollars to work for them, selling insurance or some other nonsense. As you can probably guess, I neglected to show up to those interviews.

More recently, I started training for a position as a "distributor" for Home Depot/US Remodlers/The Smart Circle (or something to that effect, honestly I'm still confused). Basically this is what I had to do: I would walk around a Home Depot store, zipping through isles and speaking to people. My goal was to get them to sign up for a free, in-home consultation with a Home Depot designer that would discuss with home owners how they could update their kitchen or bathroom for 1/3 less of the cost and guaranteed 3-5 install. In the kitchen they do cabinet refacing as well as put in new countertops and backsplashes. In the bathroom they lay a product over your bathtub and/or walls that is infused with microband and has an anbacterial agent that does not allow germs to live on the surface. Sounds like a pretty cool thing right?

THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT!! And yet no one signed up for this FREE appointment. Of course many people were not home owners so they didn't have the option anyway. But I felt like a salesperson and I wasn't even selling anything. Smh ...

Besides the fact that sales is not my forte, here are some other reasons I did not like this job:

• The office felt a little unorganized because there were hopefuls galore in the small lobby, waiting for interviews. Mind you, there are 3 companies in the same tiny office.
• The amount of people waiting for interviews lead me to belivee that many more people were quitting this job than staying (which is usually true of sales positions I think). They try to tell you that they're looking for someone with the right fit for the position and they really need people but in my opinion, they just need enough people to start because they know they won't end up with very many people in the end.
• The 2 days of training I had to drive somebody that I did not know in MY OWN car to the Home Depot location and then back to the motel they were staying at because my trainers were from an office in Portland, Oregon and didn't have a rental car (most companies would put you in a nice hotel instead of a Motel 6 and possibly get you a rental car. Red flag anyone?)
• Both of my trainers were male so although I was safe, I was put in a potentially dangerous situation because who know what could have happened after leaving the office?
• Oh yeah, did I mention that they DON'T pay for gas mileage? And get this: I drove about 20 miles to the office from home, then about 10-15 to the Home Depot, then that same 10-15 miles back to the motel near the office. All because I had to drive my trainer around with me. And THEN I had to go home.
• If you didn't sign up any appointment for any given day, you would just get paid minimum wage for the hours you worked.
• Overall I just think sales is a sucky job but someone's gotta do it!!!

I am so glad I only worked there for the 2 days of training. Whew! No telling what could have gone down cuz it was giving me some shady vibes. Same thing with Vector Marketing and setting up appointment with people to sell them Cutco knives (which are excellent, but overpriced) which I also did a few years ago.

So even though I might just be bored out of my mind, I would rather work for a company that I know and recognize the name of and sit at a desk for awhile. Just to make enough cushion money to actually spend time figuring out how to make money doing what I love - browsing natural hair websites! Lol just kidding. But only slightly. I really do want to find a career without wasting time on the scams.


HAS ANYONE ELSE HAD TROUBLES WITH THEIR JOB SEARCH???

Willow Smith vs. Sesame Street!! Classic

I absolutely adore this video!! I wanted to show this because everyone has already seen Willow's swaggalicious video and we all fell head-over-heels for the Sesame Street song about loving your hair just the way it is. And more than that, being appreciative of all the things natural hair can do!! That puppet has more self acceptance than a lot of adult women I know ... Moving on

I think you will love this video too because this is hilarious! It fuses the 2 songs together brilliantly so enjoy : )