Can't we all just get along??

This post was inspired by one that I read on CurlyNikki (check it out!). This is part of my response to this question of curl envy and wanting what you don't have ...

It’s interesting that there is so much discussion in the natural community about curl envy and wanting what you don’t have and people idolizing a certain type of curly hair and shunning kinky hair that a lot of people have, and not just black people. I’ve seen quite a few people of different ethnicities that have a curly fro and it is fabulous!!

When I cut of the rest of my relaxer I did have an idea of what type of curl I wanted to have; but it wasn’t a loose curl because the hair I was in love with had these tight, coily, pen spring, super shrinky strands! I thought that it would allow for so many more styles and honestly, since I had never dealt with my own natural hair detangling time was so far from my mind. I thought it was the transitioning that was causing detangling to take so long so I just wanted super tight curls.

However, I always idolized people with that texture who had super long hair so I saw that type of hair at the point where it was already growing down (meaning they were already 2-3 years into their natural journey). I say all this to say that I don’t have only one certain kind of texture that I admire because I have fawned over many different hair types while parusing pictures of HEALTHY hair

• I think straight hair is beautiful when it is healthy, even relaxed hair that is taken care of despite the chemicals and looks shiny and thick is something that I admire because I was never able to attain that with a relaxer
• I adore wavy hair because it reminds me of old Hollywood glamour and it’s so chic to me so I love when people wear their hair natural and it’s wavy
• I also think curls are fabulous no matter what size or shape they are and have always been in admiration of people that had big hair or curly hair and I have no prejudice over race, I love all the curls!
• And I take pride in the kinks and the coils because I could literally look at them all day on tumblr or youtube or fotki even though it is quite rare for people to idolize or fantasize about having MBL kinky coily hair but for me I think it is absolutely beautiful

It is also crazy that there is so much division in the black community regarding hair. There are relaxers vs natural, relaxed versus weaved, short vs long, curly vs kinky, mixed vs black, light vs dark, country vs city, privileged vs impoverished. AND IT NEEDS TO STOP!!!

Take a look around and see how many people want what we naturally have! They want our lips so they get an injection. They want our hips so they do squats. They want our butts and thighs so they get booty enhancers. They want our swagger so they shop at Urban Outfitters. They want our music so they bump hip hop on their stereos. They want our men so they take them (but that’s another issue entirely). They want our hair so they buy it or perm it (to make it curly) or do a straw set.

There are white women that yearn for thickness when all we do is complain about how much hair we have to deal with. There are cancer pacients that are fighting to survive and we can’t get over the fact that our hair isn’t like the Kelis. People are fighting and dying for rights and privelges and we can’t even uplift our own people. Black people could easily have more power than we have but we are divided so we don’t prosper. There is no easy or overnight solution. I would just like for you to see some of the problems that I see in our society.