Last week I had the pleasure of going to a natural hair meetup! The group is called Magahony Sistahs and it was the first event I was able to attend with this group. It was a small group of women and so much fun!! Hair didn't even come up in conversation until about the third hour we were there lol we were just having a great time chatting (and in most cases, sippin lol)
The main topic was, of course, men and relationships. After all, when was the last time women got together and didn't talke about men in some form or fashion?? *wink*
The reason I"m writing this post is because of the interesting convo we had. We talked about the immediate deal-breakers, what we're physically attracted to, how important confidence is in a man, why we as women want a man that takes care of business, why we will make excuses for men, the fa ct the you can't help who you fall in love with and more! Since I was the youngest in attendance, I got to hear insight from more experienced women which was great because in terms of love, romance and relationships, I am the least experienced of anyone I've ever met - either older or younger.
The conversation really opened my eyes to my own ignorance and that saddens me to the core. It's almost like I have so much sense that I've used it as an excuse not to get involved with anyone. I've seen and heard so many situations to shy away from that I've never even been close to experiencing myself. But why go through the pain and the drama if you see the negative side effects over someone else's shoulder?
For awhile, I thought I wasn't in a relationship because no one was attracted to me, I wasn't good enough or pretty enough or interesting enough, etc. (insert any other word of negativity and I thought it) but I don't think that was the case. I think I was afraid of the vulnerability of love, the helplessness of falling for someone so hard that common sense no longer applies.
I say all this to say some more: I don't believe that ignorance is bliss in relationships on any level. I don't one (meaning myself) should be ignorant and unknowledgeable of relationships and how they work. I also don't think that when you're in a relationship, there should be a "Don't ask, don't tell" policy. Being ignorant of cheating doesn't make it okay or tolerable. You're still not in possession of that person's whole being so you end up losing in the end, whether you know about the cheating or not. Not knowing something is not the best place to be because you don't have the option to take action.
What I'm getting at is my desire to be in a healthy, loving, beneficial relationship so that I have the personal experience to go with the not-so-common sense. I want to fall head-over-heels with someone and get so deep that I can't imagine life without them. I want a piece of the stupidity of love. Hopefully I can open myself up to love and I won't be afraid to fall ...
Quote of the day: If I could touch the sky, I'd risk the fall just to know how it feels to fly
- A. Keys