Can't we all just get along??

This post was inspired by one that I read on CurlyNikki (check it out!). This is part of my response to this question of curl envy and wanting what you don't have ...

It’s interesting that there is so much discussion in the natural community about curl envy and wanting what you don’t have and people idolizing a certain type of curly hair and shunning kinky hair that a lot of people have, and not just black people. I’ve seen quite a few people of different ethnicities that have a curly fro and it is fabulous!!

When I cut of the rest of my relaxer I did have an idea of what type of curl I wanted to have; but it wasn’t a loose curl because the hair I was in love with had these tight, coily, pen spring, super shrinky strands! I thought that it would allow for so many more styles and honestly, since I had never dealt with my own natural hair detangling time was so far from my mind. I thought it was the transitioning that was causing detangling to take so long so I just wanted super tight curls.

However, I always idolized people with that texture who had super long hair so I saw that type of hair at the point where it was already growing down (meaning they were already 2-3 years into their natural journey). I say all this to say that I don’t have only one certain kind of texture that I admire because I have fawned over many different hair types while parusing pictures of HEALTHY hair

• I think straight hair is beautiful when it is healthy, even relaxed hair that is taken care of despite the chemicals and looks shiny and thick is something that I admire because I was never able to attain that with a relaxer
• I adore wavy hair because it reminds me of old Hollywood glamour and it’s so chic to me so I love when people wear their hair natural and it’s wavy
• I also think curls are fabulous no matter what size or shape they are and have always been in admiration of people that had big hair or curly hair and I have no prejudice over race, I love all the curls!
• And I take pride in the kinks and the coils because I could literally look at them all day on tumblr or youtube or fotki even though it is quite rare for people to idolize or fantasize about having MBL kinky coily hair but for me I think it is absolutely beautiful

It is also crazy that there is so much division in the black community regarding hair. There are relaxers vs natural, relaxed versus weaved, short vs long, curly vs kinky, mixed vs black, light vs dark, country vs city, privileged vs impoverished. AND IT NEEDS TO STOP!!!

Take a look around and see how many people want what we naturally have! They want our lips so they get an injection. They want our hips so they do squats. They want our butts and thighs so they get booty enhancers. They want our swagger so they shop at Urban Outfitters. They want our music so they bump hip hop on their stereos. They want our men so they take them (but that’s another issue entirely). They want our hair so they buy it or perm it (to make it curly) or do a straw set.

There are white women that yearn for thickness when all we do is complain about how much hair we have to deal with. There are cancer pacients that are fighting to survive and we can’t get over the fact that our hair isn’t like the Kelis. People are fighting and dying for rights and privelges and we can’t even uplift our own people. Black people could easily have more power than we have but we are divided so we don’t prosper. There is no easy or overnight solution. I would just like for you to see some of the problems that I see in our society.

Heat wave!!

Well consider me gone because I can't stand the heat!! (ironically my kitchen is one of the coolest places in my house right now) I live in San Diego which is known for great weather - not too hot, not too cool. Well somebody lied to me!

I checked the temperature and it says it is 113 degrees outside right now!! Utterly ridiculous! I just went swimming yesterday but I am pretty sure I'll be hopping back in the pool again, having to wash/condition/deep condition/style my hair again. But it will all be worth it if I can just cool down just a tad. Good grief!

It is definitely spicy out there so stay cool dearies : )

Call me Cheap

I feel like such a Thrifty McNifty right now!! My friend wanted to go salsa dancing for her birthday tonight so of course I'm down like Charlie Brown! I go get my cash back from Wal-Mart so I can get in but then *screech* my friend calls me and pumps my breaks. He says it's $20 to get inside. Now honestly this isn't bad at all but I was expecting it to be like free before 10:30 or something (I mean help a sister out!)

Suffice it to say, I am now at home typing this rather than getting my salsa on, all because I am CHEAP 

The only reason this irks me is because I always wanted to be the person that would just pay for everyone to get in because I just got it like that. And one day that will be me because I'm all for having a good time. Unfortunately, right now good times cost money that I don't have which is sad business : (

I'm just really disappointed that I couldn't get over the price and just dance the night away with my girl for her birthday. I know she's cool cuz she's having a blast but maybe I'm just getting old or something because I am quite content being at the crib on a Saturday night. That doesn't bother me one bit

What does bother me is that I would pass up fun SOLEY because of how much it costs. I don't want that to be the story of my life so I am going to turn it around and start being prosperous!! It starts with my words and I'm saying that I am abundantly blessed, highly favored, rich, full of joy and ready to share the gospel of Jesus Christ with the world!

Any other frugal folks out there? (and not in a good, thrift store shopping kind of way lol)

Story of my life ...

So I was checking up on my newest (and my favorite) added blog, The Black Snob and she added an article that really hit home with me. It was like an "Aha!" moment of clarity or something. I really felt like I was reading about my own dating life so please please please check out this phenomenal article => Riding the Bench

In my experience I have noticed a similar attitude as The Snob. As I've said before, I have a lot of male friends (mostly because they usually attract less drama on the regular and they can engage in witty banter) but I feel like I've been in the reserves my whole life. I would never say that I am this amazing person that men just fawn over but after reading this I feel like I'm the one that sits out and watches everyone else do the dating hussle but no one will invite me to the casual dating party. And that's fine to some extent because I don't want to be with some jerk just because I'm tired of being single but isn't a girl entitled to have fun??

It is total crap to believe just because you're a decent human being that men should automatically bemintimidated to be rejected by you. Us bench warmers are just as flawed as everyone else but we have to wait for the ones that are friends and have mililions of excuses why they can't date you to realize that they're idiots *rolling my eyes*

One thing that The Snob has inspired me to do is to at least be courageous enough to share my feelings. It makes me feel pathetic when I'm just as nervous as this guy so neither of us will say how we feel and we remain good friends and nothing more. Scratch that, that IS pathetic! So you have inspired me to speak up and at least do my part in telling the poor sucker that I'm attracted to him and wouldn't reject him if only he would ask.

And the comments that people left are something else too!

• By savvybroad: "The DC metro area is full of men on the merry-go-round of women...boring! Who likes men who have been recycling themselves around the city? Men don't appreciate you if they don't choose or pursue you." I don't want to be with a guy that's gone around the block 7 times. And it does make the guy seem wimpy if he won't pursue you but at the same time, it would suck if all the pressure was on you to make a move. Just a heads up: sometimes a girl just wants to be sought after so that she feels desirable (can I get a witness?)
• By MissMaxine: "It's crazy, because the ones who really value the women they pursue tend to be careful in their approach, but often are so careful nothing ever ends up happening." Amen and amen! And don't let both parties be hesitant cuz then you'll really be pathetic : /
• By Mika: "It's definitely frustrating when the only men that seem to approach are the ones who have nothing to lose. I began to think that maybe I wasn't as cute, smart, and witty as all my friends tell me I am. I don't think I'm too good for anybody, but I do have to maintain some standards. Then it's even worse when I find out I'm on some loser's bench!" Say that!! A little self esteem boost every now and then never hurt anybody. And I'm not against women pursuing men either because you should go after what you want. But I don't want to be pursuing ALL THE TIME. I hope some guys are listening ...
• By Lever: "But, remember: wars have been fought over women; men give up kingdoms for women; men rebuke family and offspring for women. That these guys can't even DATE us? On to the next one ... even if he's a JERK. Why? Because what the jerks DO provide is Y-chromosome-approved confirmation that we're desirable, sexy, attractive enough women to REQUIRE some red-blooded man to take a [darned] chance on winning our attention and affection. So, no pursuit, ladies. Be pursued. [Forget] these cowards; they're simply not telling the truth: they're just not that into us." Umm yeah she pretty much said it all. It makes us think that you care if you put your balls on the line (excuse my phrasing)
• By NeicyRox: "I literally had this conversation with a guy I care about and a new job, and he's like, 'You on some wifey stuff, I need to get myself together (graduate law school, get me a job, a house) for you.' Um..no, you don't. Just date me first. I might not even wanna marry you, but dude...wives like to be girlfriends first, I'd imagine." Gon head and preach!!! How can you go from aquaintances to spouses at the drop of a hat, no dating or seducing or wining and dining. It doesn't work like that! I don't wanna be your wifey if you won't even make moves to make me a date first.

Wash n' go trials

When I was transitioning, the thing I was most excited about was being able to do wash n goes with my natural hair. I thought it would just be the easiest thing in the world to have a cute style in minutes - just wet my hair, slap some conditioner on it and walk out the door looking flyy! Well that is not the case as most of you probably know from experience. It takes practice and patience to perfect the WnG.

My personal hardship with them is not getting definition because my curls just love conditioner so I don't need the lengthy process of shingling gel or a styling cream into my hair. But I do struggle immensely with my hair feeling dry and stiff when I let it air dry! If my hair doesn't try in twists or braids it just doesn't feel its best. Something about setting my hair is what makes it feel smooth and sleek. Needless to say WnGs are not in heavy rotation with me, even though I live in the Sunshine State because they lead to tangles and dry hair. No bueno : (

However, I did end up co-washing the previous braidout I showed you and wearing it to a FUN-raiser at the Corvette Diner for my youth group at church. Here's what it looked like:



Then a few days later I was in an experimental mode and I wanted to try shingling the brown Eco Styler gel into my hair when it was damp/almost dry

I'm still playing catch-up with my hair updates so there will be more pics and info coming soon!

Go shorty, it's your birthday!!!!

I have exciting news (albeit late) - I TURNED 23 THIS WEEKEND!!!! Woot woot! I had a lot of fun so I'll try to give you a short synopsis of the festivities : )

So on Friday I was at church for a meeting and we also had elections. But after the elections we had some great conversations. Everyone in the convo was single and in love with the Lord so as you can imagine we talked about serving the Lord, living holy, and wanting a man lol but I really was inspired while we were talking so I'll share a few of the things we discussed because they were deep and thought provoking

1. Jesus should be my heart. What that means is if someone disrespects Him, that is the worst thing someone could do to you. If you aren’t offended by people talking about your Jesus, there’s something wrong and you need to figure out where your love lies.
2. I need to study the Bible for other people. Sometimes I won’t read the Word because I feel like I get enough food at church but reading the Word isn’t a selfish thing. I need to begin reading the Bible so that I can share the gospel with other people.
3. It’s not about YOU at all, your time doesn’t matter, your opinion, your past, your hurt, your obligations. It’s all about Jesus! You're eithing living for Him or against Him.
4. Making the choice not to be in a bad relationship is a gift. This was said for me because I've never been in a relationship or had a boyfriend and I was feeling discouraged about it but my girl pointed out that most people that have relationships are not happy and it's better to be single than to be in a bad relationship which I totally agree with. However, it's also difficult to be at peace with being single if that's all you've ever been. There's nothing to compare it to so I still want a beautiful, chocolate man on my arm. But I digress ....
5. Don’t be afraid to go places alone because you can think of that as going on a date with the Lord. You can get your one-on-one time in with Him if you don’t have other people to cater to. I just thought that was so cute!

Anyhoo, that was Friday night talk. Then on Saturday I sang at the San Diego Praise Fest with the other youth at my church. It was sooooo flippin hot! I really didn't expect it to be so blazing. But I was there from maybe 2-7pm and I had fun. I was also exhaused afterwards!

Yet and still, I went to the movies when it was over lol. I went to see The Town with the homies and let me tell you I recommend that movie 100%!!! Even though the men in Takers were delicious, The Town assassinates Takers so definitely go see it! Bomb.com

Then on Sunday I was at church like ALL DAY. Literally. I think I was there from 9am-6pm. We had 2 services and I had to sing at both of them. I was majorly blessed though! So believe me, I'm not complaining. It was a Holy Ghost party and I loved it <3

Then after church I went home and chiled and ate ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins. Yum! Then some of my favorite people went with me to Applebees to celebrate and do a little bit of parking lot pimpin so it was good times and I enjoyed it thoroughly *2 thumbs up*

Anyone else have a different idea of fun this weekend? ; )

Hello, dreams. It's me, Brittany ...

I have to re-introduce myself to my dreams and my ambitious aspirations. I am way too young to be wishing that I was doing bigger and better things. I should be doing those very things right now! No time like the present. I don’t think I ever had a dream to take over the world or be someone important. So many people my age want to be CEOs or fashion designers or billionaires or international speakers.

But what does Brittany want?

I don’t think I ever took the time to hope for something huge and exciting for my life. I was always happy just having fun and kicking it with friends and family. But now I feel like it’s time for a kick in the butt to get my goals jump started. I should want to change the world; I should desire to be a role model; I should yearn to become a world-wide presence that will stop at nothing to inspire others. I just really need to figure out what I want to do in life and GO AFTER IT!!

For instance, I feel like if I was telling myself that I wanted to own my own company by age 27, I would be working towards that goal and even if I didn’t achieve it in the time frame I set, at least I would be taking steps to get there! So I want to rediscover the things in my heart that I hope for. I want to re-find that inner fire that wants to go places. I will not look back on my youth with regret. I will take advantage of being young and use that to get where I want to go. Now all I have to do is open my eyes to reveal what I want out of life, to know where I want to be elevated to, how much higher I want to be than I am right now.

I can see the road, but I want a clear view of my destination. I might not know exactly which twists and turns will come my way, but at least I will have a greater goal to strive for. I just want something to reach for so that I don’t constantly look around wondering why I seem to be the only one living on a small scale. I vow to live large and take action and stop being afraid to be successful!!!! Who’s with me??

Braidout Gone Wrong!

Ok not necessarily wrong but I definitely didn't let them dry completely before taking them out which resulted in fluffy, undefined hair. And of course that's pefect conditions for experimenting! So here goes

I did a frohawk with the braidout and felt really funky and cool

Then right after I did a puff! Lol that's how I ended up wearing my hair for the rest of the day

I think I really need to try harder to work with the unpredictable results that my hair can give me. Instead of relying on a puff when something doesn't turn out how I want it to, I could just rock the frohawk for a few days. Especially since looking back at the pictures I really like it ... smh but it's always a learning game so I will continue to learn on! (P.S. I washed my hair the next day so that will be my next post lol)

Just One of the Guys ...

Sometimes I feel like one of the guys and that can be a good thing or a bad thing in my opinion. I know I'm not the only one that has the same character as some of your male friends but here is my list:

THE GOOD

• I feel like I fit in with the guys because I have the same sense of humor as most of my male friends.
• We have a lot of fun together and they’re very spontaneous.
• There isn’t so much fighting and disagreement that is prolonged for very long. You disagree, you get over it.
• I’m comfortable talking about how I feel because they would rather listen to me than talk about their own emotions. Lol!
• When they listen, they listen well.
• They give good advice. I get a close up view of what guys think about a lot of situations and am able to compare that to my view as a female.
• They are usually more worthy opponents for arguing.
• There is not so much expectation of how to act or look because they know me and know that I will do what I want.

THE BAD

• I seem to be “one of the guys” with everyone. Including the people that I’m crushing on or desperately in like with.
• They may not see me as feminine at times because my attitude is so aggressive rather than quiet and submissive.
• I am not the typical soft woman so it seems that dating is nonexistent because they want someone less opinionated and more submissive.
• I still have the female instinct that just makes you want to take care of your man when he makes you happy, but it’s not something you can see based on my carefree, confident, wild, crazy, weird, intelligent, humorous character (not to toot my own horn or anything but beep beep! Lol)
• Having a lot of guy friends may deter a potential boyfriend from asking me out because he may think that my friends are more than that.

Weekend Hair Adventures!

My hair has been very busy this weekend! Lol me and Chlo "The Fro" Bella had lots of fun styling so check out what we did :)

So on Friday before the concert, I went golfing for the first time! Let me tell you that is a workout!! My stomach was all tight and toned afterwards. That may have to become a weekly occurence (plus it wouldn't hurt to meet a chocolate brother at the 9th hole LOL) so I had my hair in twists while I was golfing.

Then for the concert I did a twistout and it looked like so



The next day there was a wedding! Yay for marriage!! I didn't sleep with anything on my head, just plopped on my pillow and knocked out. So here's what my hair looked like on Saturday for the wedding and reception (I'll try to find pictures of the dress and show you all later)

That Saturday night I picked the twistout apart and made it bigger. I don't have too many pics of it but here's one:

That night I had the urge to straighten my hair, but as you'll see I didn't get too far ... I did one section in the back and some bangs to see how it looked. I combed my twistout, added some heat protectant and used a flat iron. Here's what it looked like

THEN right after using the flatiron I co-washed my hair using Yes to Cucumbers and proceded to try a braid n'curl using only my kimmaytube modified leave in. So here's my hair after using a spray bottle with conditioner, aloe vera juice, water and oil in it to saturate my hair:

Looking back on this, it seems like a lot! But I enjoy playing in my hair so who gives a hoot!! Thanks for reading and share what you did with your hair this weekend too : )

Natural Hair Ignorance

I was watching youtube and I came across this video:


Is conditioner any less natural than lotion or toothpaste? I feel that it is extremely ignorant to say that you’re only natural if you let your hair grow out of your scalp and do nothing to it – including comb, brush, condition, style, or set it. That is a hunk of bologna if you ask me! Ash is natural but that doesn’t mean I walk around like Mr. Brown!! Plaque is natural but that doesn’t mean I don’t floss and brush my teeth everyday!! Good grief some people are completely unreasonable. Physically manipulating your hair via twists, braids, bantu knots, banding, blow drying, etc. does NOT mean that you are no longer natural. It means that you have embraced the fact that you have options of how to wear your hair. Afros are fierce and gorgeous when well taken care of but should we be limited to only wearing a fro with no products in it just because someone else said that we’re only natural if we follow these specific guidelines? Seriously who are you kidding?! This baffles me that there is even debate about this issue. Some people will even say that you’re not natural if you color your hair but how does changing the color of something on the outside change the created purpose for said object? You may not like your eggs dyed green but they’ll still taste the same whether they’re green or purple or tie-dyed, Sam I Am. I just had to share that because I could never deal with my hair without conditioning and for someone to say that moisturizing my curls make me “not natural” just irks me. That is all.

Friday Night Debauchery!

Ok well it wasn't exactly debauchery but it sure was fun! Lol John P. Kee was in San Diego this weekend to do a concert at a church near my house. I sang backup with one of the artists that opened up for Mr. Kee; his name is Justin Bennett (AKA J. Pierre) and he has an amazing voice!! So I was very excited to be a part of it : )

We had about a 15 minute set and we sang 3 songs in that time, 2 that he wrote and another song called "Our Father" by Ricky Dillard. All of the opening acts were great (and EXTREMELY loud which is alright with me) and I enjoyed myself

Then John P. Kee came out and sang all of his classics!! Jesus is Real, I Do Worship, Clap Your Hands, I Believe, and more. He was giving out money, paying people's light bills and rent. It was craziness! I love his music and I think he has a very sincere heart and really gives back to his community. I love when people use their money for good and not for selfish purposes so 2 thumbs up John lol

Friday was also my friend's birthday so I was going to go play laser tag after the concert (which didn't end until 12:45am!) I tried to make it on time but I didn't get there until they were already playing the last game of the night. Oh well, at least I showed up right?

Anybody else have a fun weekend?

Kimmaytube leave-in conditioner: modified

Most of the population loves, or at least has heard of, the beautiful and informed hair guru on youtube by the name of kimmaytube (<= if not just click on the link!).  She really does research and takes a great deal of time putting together videos to inform the masses on natural hair.  I appreciate her no-nonsense attitude and she has an awesome style to boot!

Anyhow, I finally bought the ingredients to make her leave-in mix so I wanted to share that with you:

-  2 TBSP Giovanni Direct Leave-In Conditioner
-  2 TBSP aloe vera juice
-  2 TSP coconut oil
-  2 TSP extra virgin olive oil
-  1/2 TBSP Cantu Shea Butter leave-in conditioning cream

The reason I added the Cantu was because the mixture was extremely runny and I wanted it to be thicker.  And so far I am loving this as a leave-in/styler!! I co-washed my hair yesterday and then did twists with kimmaytube's modified leave in and they turned out great. Yipee!!

i.heart.shoes

Most women have this in common - we love shoes!!!! We go therapy shopping when we feel angry or sad or broken. And I am no exception! I was looking around the GoJane website last night and I adore their shoes so definitely check it out : )

Here are some of my wish list items (really they're more like "gotta-have-em!")

So who is B??

Since this is my first post I figured I would tell you a little bit about who I am. I think you deserve to know about the person whose blog you are reading so here goes! (I need the list to help keep me organized so don't judge me! lol)

• I am a Christian, which means that I follow the teachings of Christ.  I am a witness for the Lord and I believe that I serve the only true living God who is the way, the truth and the light!!  If you don't like it, I will not apologize.  I am in awe of the daily miracles I see and the power of prayer!  I am so satisfied with my Savior so as I continue to grow in my walk with Christ, I hope to encourage you all and share what I learn because this is a lifestyle, not a hobby or a trend.
• I am a self-proclaimed nerd and I absolutely love to read! So feel free to suggest books to me.
• I love to have fun!!  It can be just walking around downtown, going to a poetry reading, listening to jazz music, having a picnic, swinging on the swings, looking up at the stars, boogie boarding at the beach, playing with my dog, chillin with the homies, eating ice cream and watching a movie, playing the piano, singing at the top of my lungs in the shower, dancing around in the middle of the street, making other people laugh, arguing just for the heck of it, I love it all!!
• I think I am funny (if you don't, please don't say anything, k thanks)
• I love to learn and gain knowledge. Hip Hop Harry anyone? *singing* I had a question it needed an answer! I asked my friends, they're hip hop dancers! (no takers? well that show is the bees-knees!!)
• I am young and growing. I am not perfect, I do not know it all. I am willing to learn and be criticized but I do have a hard time opening myself up to people.
• I am a college graduate. Highlanders represent! I &hearts; UCR
• I am a lover of animals. I hate watching those commercials about animal abuse! I cannot take it. Even in cartoons or animate films I don't like seeing animals in pain. (i.e. Kevin, the huge bird from UP that was limping because that dog bit his leg! *tear*)
• I am addicted to learning about natural hair!!!  This blog was originally going to be about hair and hair only. But since I am more than just hair, I changed my mind.  But I will have lots of pictures of hairstyles that I try and the products that I use and the information I learn and the hundreds of videos that I watch regarding natural, afro-textured, kinky, curly, gorgeous, healthy hair!
• I am a stalker (on youtube, that is. I am NOT a creeper!!)
• I am an observer of other people and I learn from other people's mistakes. The problem is, I could learn a lot more if I made those mistakes myself. So I'm learning to cannonball into life and take more chances with my heart and with my emotions.
• I admire people who have gained strength from their struggle and have gone through pain that I could never imagine. People like my little sister, my Mommy, those that have gone through cancer, people who have experienced harships and poverty. But then they became the rose that grew from concrete.  It  is a beautiful thing to see inner strength exuding on the outside.

That is not everything but I think it's a good start! So thank you for stopping by my blog and I hope to hear from you : )