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It’s about life. It’s about hair. It’s about beauty. It’s about creativity. It’s about music. It’s about singing. It’s about confidence. It’s about sharing. It’s about learning. It’s about helping. It's about growing. It's about love. It's about fashion. It's about prayer. But most of all, It’s about JESUS!!!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Story of my life ...

So I was checking up on my newest (and my favorite) added blog, The Black Snob and she added an article that really hit home with me. It was like an "Aha!" moment of clarity or something. I really felt like I was reading about my own dating life so please please please check out this phenomenal article => Riding the Bench

In my experience I have noticed a similar attitude as The Snob. As I've said before, I have a lot of male friends (mostly because they usually attract less drama on the regular and they can engage in witty banter) but I feel like I've been in the reserves my whole life. I would never say that I am this amazing person that men just fawn over but after reading this I feel like I'm the one that sits out and watches everyone else do the dating hussle but no one will invite me to the casual dating party. And that's fine to some extent because I don't want to be with some jerk just because I'm tired of being single but isn't a girl entitled to have fun??

It is total crap to believe just because you're a decent human being that men should automatically bemintimidated to be rejected by you. Us bench warmers are just as flawed as everyone else but we have to wait for the ones that are friends and have mililions of excuses why they can't date you to realize that they're idiots *rolling my eyes*

One thing that The Snob has inspired me to do is to at least be courageous enough to share my feelings. It makes me feel pathetic when I'm just as nervous as this guy so neither of us will say how we feel and we remain good friends and nothing more. Scratch that, that IS pathetic! So you have inspired me to speak up and at least do my part in telling the poor sucker that I'm attracted to him and wouldn't reject him if only he would ask.

And the comments that people left are something else too!

  • By savvybroad: "The DC metro area is full of men on the merry-go-round of women...boring! Who likes men who have been recycling themselves around the city? Men don't appreciate you if they don't choose or pursue you." I don't want to be with a guy that's gone around the block 7 times. And it does make the guy seem wimpy if he won't pursue you but at the same time, it would suck if all the pressure was on you to make a move. Just a heads up: sometimes a girl just wants to be sought after so that she feels desirable (can I get a witness?)
  • By MissMaxine: "It's crazy, because the ones who really value the women they pursue tend to be careful in their approach, but often are so careful nothing ever ends up happening." Amen and amen! And don't let both parties be hesitant cuz then you'll really be pathetic : /
  • By Mika: "It's definitely frustrating when the only men that seem to approach are the ones who have nothing to lose. I began to think that maybe I wasn't as cute, smart, and witty as all my friends tell me I am. I don't think I'm too good for anybody, but I do have to maintain some standards. Then it's even worse when I find out I'm on some loser's bench!" Say that!! A little self esteem boost every now and then never hurt anybody. And I'm not against women pursuing men either because you should go after what you want. But I don't want to be pursuing ALL THE TIME. I hope some guys are listening ...
  • By Lever: "But, remember: wars have been fought over women; men give up kingdoms for women; men rebuke family and offspring for women. That these guys can't even DATE us? On to the next one ... even if he's a JERK. Why? Because what the jerks DO provide is Y-chromosome-approved confirmation that we're desirable, sexy, attractive enough women to REQUIRE some red-blooded man to take a [darned] chance on winning our attention and affection. So, no pursuit, ladies. Be pursued. [Forget] these cowards; they're simply not telling the truth: they're just not that into us." Umm yeah she pretty much said it all. It makes us think that you care if you put your balls on the line (excuse my phrasing)
  • By NeicyRox: "I literally had this conversation with a guy I care about and a new job, and he's like, 'You on some wifey stuff, I need to get myself together (graduate law school, get me a job, a house) for you.' Um..no, you don't. Just date me first. I might not even wanna marry you, but dude...wives like to be girlfriends first, I'd imagine." Gon head and preach!!! How can you go from aquaintances to spouses at the drop of a hat, no dating or seducing or wining and dining. It doesn't work like that! I don't wanna be your wifey if you won't even make moves to make me a date first.

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